The Good Fairy

           My mother bought me a framed print at one point in my childhood and hung it in my closet without me knowing. It said something about not being intimidated by a clothes hamper, that you should just put your clothes in it and “The Good Fairy will take it from there.”

            This sign has moved from my teenage home, to my first married duplex, and so forth until now, all of these years later, it hangs above my own laundry hamper. I use the same words frequently to my family. “Just put your clothes in the hamper. The Good Fairy will take it from there.”

            We all know who The Good Fairy is. It certainly isn’t a tiny winged person with a glittery wand and wings who zips back and forth spreading cheer and giggles and cleanliness. And the last time I checked, I have no wings, no wand, no glitter, and I certainly don’t giggle when I’m doing laundry.

            It follows that The Good Fairy also magically does other things around the house. Your water glasses? Simply set them in the sink! Or on the counter near the sink! She would even be thrilled if you left them in the kitchen. The Good Fairy will take it from there.

            Let’s also discuss shoes. I am guilty of wearing shoes in the house and taking them off in inopportune places, like when I collapse on the couch after a long day or when I am chasing after the dog in the middle of the night. But for the most part, dear family, if there was a way that you could not leave your shoes directly in the walking path of everyone else, that would be wonderful. Just push them slightly to the side so I don’t trip over them while carrying multiple baskets of laundry through the house. You don’t need to put them away, just don’t leave them in the middle of the kitchen. The Good Fairy will take them from there.

            The Good Fairy also understands that oatmeal is a delicious and nutritious breakfast. She is not asking you to wash the dish, she is only asking that you run water in the bowl so that by the time she gets to it, it hasn’t formed an adhesive akin to the stuff they use on rockets in extreme temperature and pressure. Fill the bowl with water! The Good Fairy will take it from there.

            The Good Fairy also will float around with glee(?) and collect dust, spilled crumbs, blankets, scrap paper, toys, bags of empty potato chips, used tissues, and dirty socks. She will also wipe clear bathroom mirrors so that your memory of flicking toothbrush water across them will be but a fleeting memory, a memory as fleeting as the reason my mother bought me that framed picture in the first place.

            The Good Fairy will take it from there.

Originally written 3.20.16