A missing "k" makes all the difference

This is really less of an personal opinion column and more of a public announcement because I don’t want the local world as I know it to think that I am encouraging poor use of outdoor primitive restroom facilities.

I am thrilled to announce that I was recently awarded the Healthy Habits Champion of Orrville for the year, an honor that means important people in the community noticed that I never sit down, like to sweat, and inspire others to do the same.  Truthfully, I had no idea what an award this was, and even weeks later am still flattered and humbled and afraid to eat a cheeseburger in public.

Along with all of that, I’m still smiling at what has to be my favorite typo of all time.  I’m not sure who forgot the letter, but I thank that person whole-heartedly for this wonderful story that I will tell for years.

A full-page write-up in the evening’s program, the top included a photo and the bottom of the page had a bold print of what I like to call my Soapy Manifesto, and is printed on each of the labels for my small soap company, Dirt Don’t Hurt.  The purpose of the words is to motivate people to be a part of nature, to get dirty, and then to clean up with the soap. It contains such phrases as “climb a tree” and “walk in a creek” and the important one, “peek under a rock.”

Only they overlooked the letter k in that last one.

We didn’t find the mistake until my daughter read the program at home and said, “Mom, does your soap label really tell people to pee under a rock?”

Thinking back, there I was, on stage in front of over 350 prestigious community members.  I stood there while a respected doctor told them all about my life and my accomplishments.  I smiled and rocked back and forth in a dress I rarely have the chance to wear.  And now, all I can think about is how many of those prominent people were thinking of me out in the woods, rolling over a big hunk of sandstone because I had too much coffee to drink.

And therefore, I wanted to take this prime space of newspaper to clarify to all that are willing to read.  I promise you all that peeking under a rock (and not peeing under a rock) is a much better choice.  In fact, I try to avoid rocks all together when the urge strikes on one of my outdoor adventures, and any girl worth her hiking boots will attest to that.

My favorite part of the whole ordeal is that I know the woman who did the design for the program.  “Didn’t you notice that there was a missing K?!?” I asked.

“Not really.  I just thought you were that tough of a woman.”

Originally written/published 3/29/15